A boob by any other name…

Tits, juggs, hooters, knockers, melons, bosoms, fun bags, etc…the list of terms synonymous with the mammary portion of the female anatomy is seemingly endless. I did not realize quite how endless it was, however, until I started researching the topic and stumbled upon what might be the most exhaustive list a lactolinguist could ever hope for! I’ve categorized the list from A to Z and, indeed, there are terms for each letter of the alphabet!

Speaking of the alphabet, do you remember the old ABC song that’s sung to the melody of “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star”? Well, I’ve come across a version of the tune that has special relevance to boobie buffs like myself: “The Breast Lover’s Alphabet Song“! While the song itself is a veritable (albeit inaccurate) of cup sizes from A to Z, I’m rather disappointed that they stopped at an acceptable F-cup in their definition of bra sizes. A rather well-endowed friend recently carried it on a bit further (and, to my mind, a bit more accurately)…

To wit (with my comments in italics):

A – Almost Boobs. (agreed)

B – Barely there. (ditto)

C – Can’t Complain! (I can!)

D – Dang! (too small)

DD – Double dang! (nah, still too small)

E – Enormous! (a good minimum, perhaps)

F – Fake. (ain’t necessarily so)

G – Get a Reduction. (HERESY!!) *

GG – Good God!! (agreed)

H – Help me, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up. (nah, more like heaven, actually)

* (NOTE: Unless there’s a sound medical reason, of course.)

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