Fucking isn’t everything. Although I suppose the ultimate goal of any male / female sexual contact is to culminate in coitus, there’s really so much more you can do whilst physically intimate with another human being. In fact, I personally prefer the foreplay part and feel a slight twinge of regret upon achieving orgasm as I know that effectively draws the curtain on the encounter (well, for a while, at least). I’d much rather spend quality time playing with and stimulating someone’s genitalia orally and manually, and vice versa, rather than just fucking them.
But is that truly sex? I only ask because that’s been a subject of debate between the wife & I for as long as I can remember. For me, anything involving physical contact with another individual’s genitals for the express premeditated purpose of arousal constitutes a sex act. For Vix, on the other hand, it’s not sex unless there’s coitus involved and anything short of penis penetrating vagina falls short of sex by definition.
So which of us is right? While I wholeheartedly embrace her definition if we’re talking about loss of virginity, sex is an entirely different matter altogether for me. For one thing, if the penis / vagina interface were required to fully fulfill the definition, then I’d have to ascertain that those of the gay & lesbian persuasion are totally incapable of having sex based purely upon the lack of opposing reproductive organs! For another, reproduction notwithstanding since the most prevalent goal of sex in these modern times seems to be pleasure, you certainly don’t need coitus to cum (granted, you don’t need another person in order to cum either but, for the purposes of my definition, sex requires a minimum of two individuals). And, besides, why else would they call blowjobs & cunnilingus “oral sex”?
However, I’m most interested in your own personal opinions on the sex issue as well. To that end, I’ve decided to post a little poll wherein you can vote upon what degree of contact is required to constitute “having sex”. I’ve listed the options in order of increasing physical intimacy (imho), so just choose the one you feel best represents your definition of sex. But first, let’s visit a relatively new site in the Score family – Tits & Tugs – as I feel they provide prime examples of the sex sans coitus principle. Loads of handjobs and tit fucking here, but I’ve yet to see any hardcore carnal connections on the site. Thus, for your consideration prior to participating in my little sex survey and in support of my extended definition of the act, here’s a collection of photos & videos courtesy of TitsAndTugs.com…
…and now, on to the poll. Again, I’ve listed the options in what I consider to be increasing degrees of sexual intimacy. I voted the third option – handjobs – as I personally feel that bare skin on skin genital contact is required to constitute the minimum sex act. But I’m moreso interested in your opinions on the matter. Oh, and by the way, if your own personal definition of what it takes to be having sex isn’t listed below, please leave a comment to let me know what I’ve overlooked. And, with that, it’s on with the voting! :~)
i really do enjoy playing around n stuff….but full on ftw =]
then again ive only just recentlry lost my virginity…so obviously im gonna say full on lol….good post reese (Y)
wait a sec….I know the poll is important but lets not pass up the most important thing in this post: are you sure that is casandra calogera and not anna song???? is this merely a coincidence???
on a side note….my personal opinion is “having sex” implies penetration (whether its vaginal or anal) everything else listed in the poll I would consider as foreplay.
Sex to me is the enjoyment of the other company, In my case it does not include personal orgasm but as long as the other person is satisfied life is good, naked, clothed,semi naked as long as it works for the two of you it is sex in spite of what Bill and his lawyers claim.
Can we please have more of Jollie Rain?
Sex for a straight couple is defined as any activity whereby the male produces semen through insertion of the penis into the vagina, anus, or mouth.
Sex for a lesbian is defined as vaginal stimulation from the mouth of her partner, the repeated contact of genitals in a thrusting motion when done by two women or the use of a strap on/dildo/double ended dildo. Note that this definition also counts for the woman in a straight couple, so long as the man also cums.
Sex for a gay man is identical for that of a male in a straight couple. It is also sex for a male if he receives cum inside him (or would do if there was no protection used) in the ways outlined above.
In summary, direct penetration whereby a penis is inserted into an orifice, or the continued contact of a pair of genitals where insertion is impossible due to a lack of a penis on all parties, is sex. Everything else isn’t, but can be considered foreplay, even if it results in a climax.
I think the boundaries between sex or not sex have a great deal to do with the reason you are defining it. For instance, as we playfully take this quiz some of us might answer much more casually than what qualifies as sex if we are talking about what our wife did with another man behind our back.
Josh~
You’ve captured my thoughts on the matter completely when you said “some of us might answer much more casually than what qualifies as sex if we are talking about what our wife did with another man behind our back”. I really should have driven the point home a little further with examples like that, as it could have had a dramatic impact upon on the results.
~Reese! :~)
oh wow, now you have my weak spot. I LOVE getting ‘tits and tugs’ myself
I think that each of us will have our own perceived definition of what is and is not sex. And as previously stated by Josh, it all depends on the context of what we are defining. I may think that any form of sexual contact between lovers is a definition of sex. But what the girl I’m with may see as sex may only be foreplay and only associate vaginal penetration as sex. So where as we each may be preforming oral sex on each other, then she has not yet had sex and therefore may not see herself as being what society would define as a ‘slut’.
On the other hand, it may be that the male sees all form of sexual contact as just foreplay, whereas the woman would see that after having sucked him off, then they have shared an intimate moment of sex.
Again it comes back to what Josh said. If a man or woman thinks that anything other than vaginal penetration is not contained in the definition of sex, then they may see themselves as not cheater on their spouse/lover. Whereas the spouse/lover may see it as sex and a form of cheating.
There is no true definition we can give that would satisfy everyone. It is up to each of us to have our own opinion of what sex is and to share that so that others may broaden there definition, or at least understand ours.
On a side note, why is it called preforming when one gives oral sex to their partner? I never understood that term.
You answered your own question pretty much.
The “true definition” of sex is probably coitus. “Sex acts” include both the real deal and periphery items.
Exactly Reese!
I am in full agreement with you on that one brother. I think many of the majority of guys who answered it’s not sex until the dick enters the pussy would have much different feelings if their wife/girlfried did EVERYTHING above on this list with another man behind their back. Like you said, the poll results might be vastly different in that case.
Re: Josh’s reply.
While many may not consider sex to be anything but pure penetration, that doesn’t necessarily mean they want there significant others performing sexual acts on other people. For some even so much as looking at another is entirely unjustifiable, and unforgiveable, while others will go so far as to allow there partners to have sex with other people. What your proposing is not what is and what isn’t defined as sex, but rather what is and what isn’t defined as cheating on a partner.
All of these acts can be defined as “having sexual contact.” The first two happen thousands of times in strip bars that permit lap dancing. I clicked on Oral Sex because penis into mouth or tongue into vagina can be interpreted as the starting point of insertive, penetrative sex. (Unless you’re Former President Clinton) Strictly from a biological, propagative point of view, genital sex (penis-vagina sex) would probably be defined by most people as “sex.”
That’s a good point Surplus. However, what constitutes cheating can also constitute a sex ACT, without the full blown vaginal penetration. The purpose of my reply was merely putting a different context to which one could pose the question, of what constitutes sex. Your post made me realize that the main difference, which Reese touched on is that there may be a difference between sex and a sexual act in this part of Reese’s post:
“For me, anything involving physical contact with another individual’s genitals for the express premeditated purpose of arousal constitutes a sex act. For Vix, on the other hand, it’s not sex unless there’s coitus involved and anything short of penis penetrating vagina falls short of sex by definition.”
So Reese, maybe this will settle the arguement between you and the Mrs. once and for all. Just simply differentiating between “having sex” and doing a “sex act”. Or does that basically leave you where you started? LOL, I don’t know. It’s late but that is food for thought albeit maybe a small snack.
To put a fine point on it, I’d say that sex is any act involving two or more people where the goal of such act is for one or more parties to achieve an orgasm, whether or not the goal is attained.
Simply because masturbation would be an asexual pursuit, meaning *not* sexual.
I selected the “Handjobs” option, as I was thinking more of what acts had the specific intent of resulting in orgasm. To me penetration is not required to what constitutes an overt sexual act. On the other hand, dry humping or clothed fondling would not get me there, but I’m sure that my wife would not look too kindly on me performing such acts with other women. Perhaps I’m confusing having sex and intimacy here. Reese, why do you pose these impossible questions? ;-)
i love sara jay so much i want to love here from my hert and my penis
l want to call him or here mail
please please………………………
respect